


Now we're stressed out

by Pastel_is_punk



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: CG/L, Daddy Phil, Fluff, Little Dan, Little Space, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8734720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastel_is_punk/pseuds/Pastel_is_punk
Summary: Stress gets to Dan, who tries not to slip into little space, but Phil knows it's inevitable. However, he didn't realise just how stressed Dan was, and is not prepared.





	

Life had been hectic for a while now. The year had been a whirlwind of activity and work, and as much as Dan loved his career and the opportunities he was given, he was stressed. Immensely stressed. He could see Phil was too, but he never complained, so Dan didn’t either. Still, he wasn’t sure how Phil took everything in stride when all Dan wanted to do was bury under the covers and forget his responsibilities for an hour or two. But he couldn’t, they were too busy for Dan to just stop everything.

He couldn’t help getting frustrated. It was 1 in the morning, and for the third time, he had misplaced a script for his video. It was lost somewhere, again, under the piles of paper scattered on his desk. When he couldn’t see it straight away where he had put it, he leaned back in his chair trying not to get angry. Blinking back tears of frustration, he told himself he wouldn’t solve anything by flying off the handle. He took a deep breath and began sorting through each paper carefully, tidying them up a bit for a bit of order.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a tired-looking Phil pop his head into the room just in time to see him sweep every bit of paper off his desk and onto the floor in frustration. He leaned his elbows on the desk and dropped his head into his hands, letting his eyes close. He heard the shuffling of paper and jumped, looking to his left. Phil was kneeling next to the desk, gathering all the discarded paper. Dan couldn’t bring himself to help, even though it was his mess and he felt guilty letting Phil take care of it.

Phil looked up and saw Dan’s head buried in his hands, but turned slightly so he could watch him. Dan felt like he didn’t deserve the gentle smile Phil gave him. He watched Phil start to get up, holding the stack of paper, when he paused. Dan’s eyes followed Phil curiously as Phil reached under the desk and stood back up with another piece of paper on top of the stack. He placed it in front of Dan, tapping the top piece with one finger.

“Is that the one you were looking for?” Phil asked with a knowing smile. Dan glanced at it and let out a groan.

“I didn’t see it fall off,” he said sheepishly. Had he looked properly, he wouldn’t have had an outburst, bothering Phil.

Dan felt his chair being spun slightly, and let Phil take both of his hands, lifting his head to meet Phil’s eyes. A slight tug let Dan know what Phil wanted, and he was far too tired to argue. He stood up, following Phil out the door, their hands joined. They reached Phil’s room and both boys were silent as Phil gently pushed Dan on the bed. He leaned over and kissed Dan softly on the forehead, before tugging the covers around him. Dan kept his eyes on Phil as he got changed and slid into bed next to Dan. As soon as Phil was on his back, Dan threw an arm around Phil’s waist and snuggled into the crook of his neck.

“Go to sleep, baby,” Phil whispered, bringing his arms up to encircle Dan protectively. Hearing those words, and feeling the comfort of Phil around him, everything seemed to melt away and the video didn’t even cross his mind as he fell asleep.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Dan woke at a ridiculously early time. Phil was still asleep, which almost never happened. Dan felt happy, and playful, seemingly wide awake. He nuzzled closer to Phil with a soft sigh, feeling safe. Something was pressing into his thoughts, something that may have been vaguely urgent, but Dan didn’t think about it, enjoying the care-and-stress-free headspace he had fallen into. Suddenly, he sat up, ripping himself from Phil’s grasp. He froze, praying it hadn’t woken his boyfriend up. When Phil frowned and turned on his side to cocoon himself in the duvet, Dan let out a sigh of relief.  The relief was quickly replaced with worry.

Dan could not afford to be little right now. Not with so much to do. He felt himself coming out of it, going through a mental list of everything he needed to do that day, reminding himself that he can’t slip. He wasn’t deep in little space, more so teetering on the edge, so it wasn’t too hard to focus. What he needed though, was to completely get rid of any chance or temptation. He would make sure he was firmly in big space before getting to work. Deciding it would be best to force himself to concentrate on doing big things, he slowly got out of bed and crept out of the room, trying not to disturb Phil.

Big things were harder than Dan thought. He moved slowly as he grabbed a bowl, cereal, and milk. He didn’t want to drop anything so he was extra careful. He poured the milk onto the cereal, but he miscalculated when he set it down, catching it on the edge of the bowl. The bowl tipped slightly, and in his haste to steady it, he ended up making it worse. His hands fumbled and knocked the bowl off the counter, shattering it and spreading milk and cereal everywhere.

His face scrunched up and he nearly burst into tears. He didn’t know what to do. He’d made a mess trying to be big, but there was just no way he could be little. With trembling hands, he started to pick up the chunks of broken bowl. Thankfully, it hadn’t been too far of a drop so it broke into a few large pieces rather than heaps of tiny ones that he could easily cut himself on. He was careful not to slip in the milk, and he hoped he wasn’t doing too bad a job of cleaning the mess up. Once all the porcelain was in the bin, he started using the paper towels to gather the cereal that had started to go soggy. As he cleaned up, his mind slipped just a bit more, making it harder to stay big. But he was determined, so when the mess was gone, he moved to the lounge.

One way to stay big, surely, was to watch big programmes. The collection of Disney movies and Winnie the Pooh DVDS were extremely tempting, but he had a goal, so he skipped over them. His gaze fell on ‘Supernatural’, something they hadn’t watched yet but bought ages ago with the intentions of watching it. He slid the first disk into the DVD player, deciding the Xbox would be too complicated to work and would only serve to frustrate him more, pushing him over the edge.

He settled down on the couch with the remote, turning it a low volume so as not wake Phil. He eyed the colourful blanket sitting on the end of the couch for Dan to use in times like these. He shook his head, focusing on the screen. Snuggling into a blanket would do more harm than good. He pressed play on the remote.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Phil woke to an empty bed. He reached out an arm and connected with pillows. In his sleep-hazy mind, he wondered where Dan had gotten off to. He checked his phone, growing concerned when he saw it was only 10 o’clock. What on earth was Dan doing up at this time, before Phil was even awake? He realised Dan’s side was cold, so he must have been up for a while. Phil had a sinking feeling that it meant nothing good. He knew it was inevitable for Dan to slip, and he knew the time was coming. It was clear as day when Phil heard his little outburst last night, and even clearer when Dan let Phil put him to bed without a single protest. He had reached the stage of over-tired, not having any energy to argue with Phil, and that usually meant the slip was coming. But Dan was not in bed, and he hadn’t been for a while.

Concern growing quickly, Phil shoved his glasses on and threw on a shirt before heading down the hall. When he reached the lounge, he could hear quiet whimpers that were obviously meant to be contained. He pushed the door open and he quickly scanned the room. At first, he couldn’t see Dan, and his heart sped up. But then he heard a small gasp and his eyes followed the source of the sound. Leaning against the wall, huddled in a blanket, Dan formed a tight ball in the corner of the room, the dining table obscuring him.

“Baby?” Phil called softly. Dan whimpered again, louder this time. Phil moved slowly and cautiously, not wanting to scare Dan. As soon as Phil came into view, Dan snapped his head up, his eyes wide with shock and fear. Phil watched as his face twisted and he let out a loud sob. Phil paused in his tracks and Dan scrabbled to hold the blanket tighter around him, resting his head on his knees and holding his arms around his legs.

Phil took another tentative step forward, making Dan sob loudly again, followed by a soft whimper. He couldn’t stand it anymore, his heart clenching in pain, and he didn’t stop moving until he was in front of Dan, thinking maybe Dan would calm down in Phil’s presence. He didn’t though. If anything, he grew more hysterical the closer Phil got. By the time Phil was sitting cross-legged in front of him, Dan was fully sobbing, his breathing ragged and heavy, his body shaking. Minutes passed slowly while Phil waited patiently for Dan to wear himself out. It was only getting worse though, and Phil feared Dan wouldn’t stop. He yearned to reach out and comfort the boy, but he was vulnerable, and clearly scared.

“Danny, do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Phil asked. Dan silenced himself as soon as he heard Phil’s voice, trying to listen, but the moment Phil was finished, he started to cry even harder. Phil was wide-eyed as Dan reached a point where he was no longer sobbing, but gasping for air. Phil felt near tears himself, unsure of what to do. Never had he seen Dan in such a state before, and he couldn’t do anything until he knew what set it off. Dan’s breathing grew different and Phil realised he was trying to talk.

“I’m s-sorry, Daddy,” Dan choked out, his face resting on his knees.

“Why are you sorry, baby?” Phil made sure to keep his tone gentle.

“I –,” Dan’s voice cracked, and he swallowed audibly. “I was – I was naughty, D-daddy, I’m sorry, I didn’t – didn’t mean to be.” Dan’s voice grew more frantic and desperate and he was cutting off his own words. “I’m s-sorry, please, I’m sorry, please believe me, I didn’t mean to be b-bad. I’m a bad boy,” Dan sobbed. He lifted his head, leaning his back against the wall. His elbows rested on his knees where his head had been, and he wound his fingers tightly into his hair, keeping his head down and his arms covering his face. “I wasn’t n-naughty on purpose, I s-swear, I was tryna be good, but I’m j-just bad, I’m bad, sorry, I’m sorry.”

At this point, Dan was hyperventilating, barely able to get his words out. Hearing him say that broke Phil’s heart and he was desperate to know what Dan thought he had done. But he couldn’t rush his little, not with the way it was going. He felt overwhelmed, not knowing how to handle this. This was something that had never happened for. He could handle Dan’s rare panic attacks while in little space, but it didn’t seem to be that. He wasn’t panicky, he was terrified and guilty. Dan got guilty sometimes when he thought he had done something naughty, but he would overcompensate by sticking close to Phil and going out of his way to do things to prove he could be Phil’s good boy. This was next level.

Phil always rushed to comfort Dan whether he was in trouble or not, soothing him before a punishment, making sure Dan understood why he was in trouble, and always delivering punishments gently so Dan knew it was because Phil cared. If he wasn’t in trouble, Phil would calm him down with reassuring words, holding him close. Neither was happening and Phil knew he needed to act before Dan got the wrong idea, but he was frozen in shock. Dan didn’t take it well.

Dan shuddered at Phil’s silence and he knew he seriously messed up. Phil wasn’t even punishing him. He must be so disappointed in him. Dan sobbed again and his fingers tightened in his curls. He had been extremely naughty, and now his Daddy was disappointed in him. He might not even love him anymore. Dan had to make this right.

“I-I’m s-sorry, I can – I can be good, D-daddy, I’ll sh-show you I’m s-sorry. P-please, please. I’ll take any – any punishment you give m-me.” Dan paused, catching his breath as he worked himself into hysterics again. Phil didn’t react, making Dan cry harder. “I – I can do it myself, if you want me to. D-do you want me to – to punish myself, Daddy? Please, I want to show you I can be good.”

Phil’s eyes widened and his stomach lurched as Dan used the grip he had in his hair to start tugging viciously, biting his lip hard to stop his cries of pain. Phil jolted into action, bringing his hands up to Dan’s head to cover the boy’s hands. Dan startled and flinched, letting his hands go slack in his hair, seemingly waiting for Phil to continue. Phil took Dan’s wrists and brought his arms down, away from his face. He held both of Dan’s wrists in one hand, bringing his free hand under Dan’s chin to gently tilt his head up. Dan shivered as the jostling made the blanket fall away, exposing him.

Dan’s tear-filled eyes didn’t look up at Phil, but Phil was too busy studying Dan’s face. His cheeks were bright red and streaked with tears, his eyes red-rimmed. His lips were dry and cracked, bleeding right where Dan’s teeth would sink in. The boy trembled under him, so Phil moved his hand to cup Dan’s face, stroking his thumb over his cheek in an attempt to comfort. When Dan’s tears resided and the boy was able to meet Phil’s eyes, looking a lot calmer, Phil spoke.

“Danny, can you listen to me?” Phil asked gently.

“Y-yes, Daddy,” Dan answered straight away, his voice cracking.

“I will never punish you before letting you explain first. And you will never take a punishment into your own hands. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Dan said, his eyes filling with more tears, because once again he’d been naughty while trying to be good. “I’m sorry –,” Phil placed his thumb on Dan’s lips, and Dan fell silent.

“Now, can you tell me what you think you did wrong?” He went back to stroking Dan’s cheek, letting him talk.

“E-everything,” Dan sniffled.

Phil held in a sigh, which would certainly be taken by Dan as disappointment or annoyance.

“Why don’t you tell me what happened, hm?”

Dan sniffed again, and Phil released Dan’s wrists. Dan brought his arm up to wipe his nose with his sleeve, clearing his throat before he started.

“I w-woke up little, but I remembered we’re busy all day and I have to big, and I didn’t want to disappoint you so I t-tried not to be little, but big things are hard and I broke the bowl, and, I’m sorry, please don’t be mad, please, I’m sorry,” Dan stopped, shutting his eyes. It didn’t stop tears from falling and Phil quickly wiped them away.

“I’m not mad, baby, I’m your Daddy, right?” He waited for Dan to nod. “Right, and Daddies don’t get mad at their babies for falling into little space, okay? Daddies know their babies can’t help it, and that’s what we’re here for. To look after you when you’re little. Okay?”

“Okay,” Dan mumbled, fixing his eyes on Phil again.

“Did you break the bowl trying to make breakfast?”

Dan gave a small nod. “But I cleaned it up.”

Phil smiled sadly. “That was very nice of you, but do you remember what I said to do if something breaks while you’re little?”

“To come and get you instead of fixing it myself.”

“And why is that?”

“So I don’t hurt myself. But Daddy, I wasn’t fully little yet.”

“Okay, baby,” Phil humoured him with a smile. “Have you been in here since?”

Dan averted his gaze suddenly and nodded, making Phil’s mind whirl. He thought about what Dan had said. It wasn’t unusual for Dan to slip due to something like breaking a bowl when he was really stressed and putting off little space. But Dan had said he wasn’t fully little when he cleaned up, which means something else had made him slip. He looked around the room, trying to see if anything was off, but Dan had tucked himself into a corner hidden from the rest of the room. Phil could barely see anything apart from the dining table.

Phil grabbed the blanket from the floor and shuffled himself so he was sitting next to Dan against the wall. He brought the blanket around both of them and got himself comfy underneath it. He copied Dan’s position, bringing his knees up to his chest. He put his left arm around Dan’s shoulders, pulling him close. He took Dan’s left hand in his right and manoeuvred them so their arms made a circle around their knees, their hands intertwined. Dan instinctively leaned into Phil, resting his head on Phil’s shoulder.

“Baby?”

“Yes, Daddy?”

“Do you want to tell me what made you little?”

Dan’s fingers tightened around Phil’s hand. After a moment, he shook his head, his hair tickling Phil’s neck. Phil’s stomach dropped. It must have been something bad. Whatever made him slip also terrified him, and he didn’t want to say. Phil’s mind raced with possibilities. Besides being scared, Dan had also thought he had been naughty, and Phil knew it wasn’t only because he had slipped when he thought he wasn’t meant to. Maybe he had broken a rule and the fear of being punished pushed him into little space. That didn’t make sense, because Dan had been all too happy to accept a punishment. Something must have happened that scared him that he thought he was going to get in trouble for.

“Do you remember what I just said about how Daddy isn’t mad at you for being little?”

Dan nodded shyly and lifted his head.

“I thought if I watched something for big boys, I wouldn’t be little. It was really s-scary and then I wasn’t big, but it was still scary, and I thought the monsters were coming to get me so I hid, but then you came in and the monsters went away but I was scared you were going to be angry, coz I was naughty. I b-broke a bowl, and then I watched a big boy thing that I wasn’t s’posed to, then I slipped when I wasn’t s’posed to, and I was so naughty, I’m s-sorry.” Dan’s voice had started to tremble, and Phil knew more tears were coming.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright baby, it’s alright. You’re not in trouble, okay? You shouldn’t have watched scary big boy things, but I’m not going to punish you. You’re safe now, and you’re not in trouble,” Phil murmured, lifting his arm from around Dan’s shoulders to stroke his hair.

“Y-you’re not going to punish me?” Dan asked, his voice small.

“I think that was punishment enough, don’t you?”

Dan only sniffled, resting his face back in Phil’s neck. Phil sighed quietly.

“I’m sure you learned your lesson about watching things you’re not allowed to.”

This time Dan answered with a nod and a muffled “definitely,” his breath hot on Phil’s skin.

Phil knew they couldn’t stay on the floor so he took the blanket away and started to stand up. Dan’s hand spasmed in Phil’s and his head shot up to stare wide-eyed.

“D-don’t leave me, please -,” Dan started.

“Shh, I’m not leaving you. We’re gonna get up okay?”

Dan nodded and started to stand up too, but his legs were weak from being in that position for hours. His knees buckled and Phil caught him, making him stand leaning against the wall. When Dan was okay to move, Phil scooped up the fallen blanket and led him to the couch, sitting him down. As Phil went to move away again, Dan quickly latched onto his wrist, looking at him with pleading eyes.

“I’m gonna put something on for you to watch while I make some breakfast, then we can watch it together. Does that sound good?”

Dan shook his head, his brown eyes wide and innocent. “I wanna come with you,” he said softly, as if he thought Phil might say no.

Phil smiled kindly and removed Dan’s hand from his wrist so he could hold it properly. Instead of taking him to the kitchen however, Phil took Dan to his bedroom and pat the edge of the bed where Dan sat. Phil could feel Dan watching him as he went through their drawers. He turned around, holding a bundle of grey and white fabric. Dan’s eyes lit up and he chuckled to himself. He helped Dan pull his jumper off and step into the onesie. While Phil focused on doing the buttons up, Dan focused on Phil, his soft features split into a grin as he looked at Phil with all the love in the world. Dan didn’t notice Phil was done until he lifted his head and caught Dan’s eye. Dan blushed, but Phil seemed to melt, returning his gaze with equal love.

They were quiet in the kitchen, as Phil had told Dan to think of what he wanted to watch so he could make the food quickly. Normally, he’d be all for getting Dan involved and having fun, but he was keen to just settle down with his baby on the couch. Dan absent-mindedly watched Phil pouring sprinkles over buttered bread, trying to decide between ‘The Lion King 2’, which was less scary then the first one, and ‘Adventure Time’.

“Come on, Danny, we’ll go watch something in the lounge,” Phil said, startling him out of his thoughts. Dan nodded eagerly, trailing behind Phil.

When they reached the lounge, Phil set the plate of fairy bread on the seat next to Dan’s while Dan settled in a comfy position on the couch. Phil handed Dan a plastic cup with a lid and straw filled with chocolate milk, which Dan took excitedly.

“Have you decided what you want to watch?” Phil asked.

“Mm, ‘The Lion King 2’, or Finn and Jake. Can you choose?” Dan asked sweetly, grinning at Phil.

Phil laughed lightly, a smile on his face.

“Of course, baby.”

Phil loaded ‘The Lion King 2’ into the DVD player that Dan hadn’t turned off. He frowned when the tray opened and the first disk of ‘Supernatural’ was sitting there. He decided not to mention it, instead just packing it away in its case and coming to join Dan on the couch. When Dan saw him coming back, he lifted the corner of the blanket he had once again snuggled under, inviting Phil to share it with him.

Once Dan had cuddled himself up against Phil, he raised the piece of fairy bread he had been nibbling on to Phil’s mouth. Phil raised his eyebrow, looking amused but indulged him anyway, taking a bite. Dan hummed happily and turned to the screen, waiting for Phil to press play. A thought seemed to occur to him, because he turned back to face Phil again.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

“I love you.”

Phil cooed and smiled.

“I love you too.”


End file.
